Like the deer that yearns for running streams, so my soul is yearning for you, my God.
My soul is thirsting for God,
the God of my life;
when can I enter and see
the face of God?
My tears have become my bread,
by night, by day,
as I hear it said all the day long:
“Where is your God?”
These things will I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I would lead the rejoicing crowd
into the house of God,
amid cries of gladness and thanksgiving,
the throng wild with joy.
Why are you cast down, my soul,
why groan within me?
Hope in God; I will praise him still,
my saviour and my God.
My soul is cast down within me
as I think of you,
from the country of Jordan and Mount Hermon,
from the Hill of Mizar.
Deep is calling on deep,
in the roar of waters;
your torrents and all your waves
swept over me.
By day the Lord will send
his loving kindness;
by night I will sing to him,
praise the God of my life.
I will say to God, my rock:
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning
oppressed by the foe?”
With cries that pierce me to the heart,
my enemies revile me,
saying to me all day long:
“Where is your God?”
Why are you cast down, my soul,
why groan within me?
Hope in God; I will praise him still,
my saviour and my God.
Reflection
Psalm 42 counters the myth that for those who trust in God life will always be sweetness and light. There is refreshing honesty in this Psalm. Raw emotions are described with painful reality – and for many of us, I suspect, they sound all too familiar:
· A yearning for a more ‘real’ experience of the presence of God
· The tears of disappointment and betrayal
· Feelings of nostalgia and longing for past assurances and the reliving of fond memories
· Torment by those we are tempted to regard as “enemies”
· Feelings of being overwhelmed, oppressed and cast down
At two points the Psalmist says “Why are you cast down, my soul, why groan within me”; twice, “Where is your God?”; and twice, “Hope in God; I will praise him still, my Saviour and my God”. The haunting sense of the absence of God is prompted both by the taunts of others (verse 3) and as a result of the Psalmist’s inner feelings (verse 9). When at our lowest we can so easily end up believing the worst that others say to us and of us. Stripped of confidence in the present we seek reassurance from the past. Nostalgia is such a tempting place as refuge in the storms of distress. For any of us who have heavy hearts about the uncertainty of the future for the Church or who grieve at its current vulnerability it is perfectly natural to recall, as the Psalmist does, the former “throng wild with joy” that was so formative for us.
Ultimately the Psalmist reminds himself – and us – that our “hope [is] in God” and that God remains worthy of praise. Our confidence and reassurance come not from nostalgia but from being reminded that God has not forgotten us – whatever others may say or our own feelings suggest to us – and that the One who is “my Saviour and my God” endured the Cross and hell of abandonment and yet is ever-present. In him grace-sufficient is found.
Prayer
God of all our days – past, present and to come –
we long to feel a greater sense of your presence and power
when life threatens to rob us of our confidence in you and capsize the boat of our faith.
Enable us to survive the storms and to emerge
not as those dampened by distress
but immersed in your loving-kindness.
This prayer we make not purely for ourselves
but for all who are experiencing the storms of life.
Amen.
